…(pause for 10 seconds) See! Now he’s all nervous…worried about what I’m going to say…
Traditionally, this is in two parts; a short speech to the couple, and then a toast to their wedding and for a successful marriage.
I want to do it in three parts.
I’ll talk to each of the couple. I’ll talk about the marriage. And I’ll give them a toast.
First, I want to talk to Suzy about Greg.
To understand my brother, you must first understand the Cheeto.
Cheetos are colorful, they are flavorful, they are fattening, and you can never get enough of them. And you can’t get them out of the sofa once they’re in it, either.
And everyone loves them.
So once you truly understand the Cheeto, you’ll understand Greg.
Now I want to talk to Greg about Suzy.
Bro, we’ve always been told that as men, we want girls. You went out looking for a girl, and you somehow found a woman. Guys like girls because they’re cute (Suzy is beautiful); because they play with us (Suzy will make a life with you) and because they don’t demand much (Suzy will demand everything you have and more). And for everything they demand, they’ll give back more than you can imagine.
We’re here to celebrate their wedding – Greg and Suzy’s formal and public statement that they are a family.
It’s a funny thing; for much of my life I wasn’t very interested in family. I had other things that occupied my attention and my heart.
That’s not true today, and one thing I want to do is to publicly thank my brother for that.
He has always been the glue that cemented our wacky tribe. He’s been on the phone, in our faces, sleeping on our couch.
He’s the one who taught me to wrestle with my sons, who taught me that play is probably the most important part of being a parent, that fun is the most important part of being a partner, and that laughter is the real tie that cements us as a family.
He taught me that a family is a place where you can be regardless – angry, sad, happy, successful, frustrated, scared, whatever – that it was somewhere where there was always room at the table, always someone on the other end of the phone, always someone to share your burdens or joys.
It wasn’t an easy lesson. I’ve got stories, and we’ve both got scars.
But he’s always been there for me, and I’m happiest of all to be here for him today.
I’m happy to see Suzy join him and give him a true home. I’m happy to have Suzy as a part of my family, and to be a part of hers.
And I’ll leave that as my final toast:
To our families, together always.
To Suzy and Greg, my sister and brother.