Below is a real email thread I received today from a friend. I’ve redacted the names and email addresses. It’s completely distracted me from worrying about the election. B____ is married to B___B and they are the parents of J____ and friends with A____ and K____…<\/p>\n
From: B____<\/p>\n
\nSent: Monday, November 06, 2006 8:13 PM
\nTo:
\nSubject: sunday at our place<\/p>\n\nA____<\/p>\n
\nYou said I wasn’t the old me<\/p>\n
\nStooped a little<\/p>\n
\nBags under my eyes , little dribble coming out of my mouth .<\/p>\n
\nI saw worry in your eyes.<\/p>\n
\nBelow is a typical night at my house<\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n
A____ I am sorry I scared you<\/p>\n
\nBut understand coming into my house ,<\/p>\n
\nMy kid is screaming<\/p>\n
\nMy bird Mr Blue is screaming because he is not going to get laid that night<\/p>\n
\nThere are feathers all over the fucking house<\/p>\n
\nThe dog is hiding in the corner with his paws over is ears , small green feather at the corner of his mouth.<\/p>\n
\nJ____ traumatized his dog ate his bird , sleeps on the floor in the room<\/p>\n
\nA____, you still want to say how bad I look or what a miracle it is I am still breathing.<\/p>\n
\nB____<\/p>\n
\n**************** Begin Forwarded Message **************** <\/p>\n
\nFrom: B___B [Mrs. B____]
\nSent: Monday, November 06, 2006 9:38 AM
\nTo:
\nCc:
\nSubject: RE: sunday at our place<\/p>\n\nHi K;<\/p>\n
\nOkay I drove over the construction sign and enjoyed a fantastic afternoon . Meal was great, company was fabulous . But if you think of a puppy let me tell you our latest story .<\/p>\n
\nWhile we had the greatest time at your great fully constructed house .Shawnee was lonely and bored and he decided to break out of his cage and have some fun with the birds. Lizzie disappeared , we found tons of feather but no dead bird . J____ was hysterical , Mr. Blue was even more hysterical and my husband accused of mass murder …<\/p>\n
\nSo I cleaned for an hour picking up all the feathers, looking with a nightlight for the dead bird but did not find him.<\/p>\n
\nJ____ in the mean time sleeps on the floor with us , because Mr. Blue was chirping all night looking for the his bride to be, B____ is grunting and still accusing me of massmurder-. This morning more feathers but no bird, B____ goes on the hunt but still no dead bird. I go with our Hunter Shawnee to see if in the poo Lizzie appears but no Lizzie there either , we hoping that Carmen finds the bird -. But this is only 1 evening and 1 morning with the new _______ family.<\/p>\n
\nSo are you sure you want a puppy?<\/p>\n
\nAnyway this afternoon you find us back at the pet store buying a new friend for our heart sick Mr. Blue -..<\/p>\n
\nYour mass murderer,<\/p>\n
\nB___B<\/p>\n
\nPS Shawnee looks a bit guilty , but this morning he started to jump on our white leather sofas chasing J____, who screamed to get the beast of him<\/p>\n
\nPS B____ decided that from now on he will have breakfast at Starbucks. He might actually camp there .<\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Below is a real email thread I received today from a friend. I’ve redacted the names and email addresses. It’s completely distracted me from worrying about the election. B____ is married to B___B and they are the parents of J____ and friends with A____ and K____… From: B____ Sent: Monday, November 06, 2006 8:13 PM […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/marcdanziger.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1255"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/marcdanziger.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/marcdanziger.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/marcdanziger.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/marcdanziger.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1255"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/marcdanziger.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1255\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/marcdanziger.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1255"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/marcdanziger.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1255"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/marcdanziger.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1255"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}