{"id":526,"date":"2004-09-10T00:38:17","date_gmt":"2004-09-10T00:38:17","guid":{"rendered":"0"},"modified":"2006-09-28T12:08:46","modified_gmt":"2006-09-28T12:08:46","slug":"cooper_and_chafetz","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/marcdanziger.com\/?p=526","title":{"rendered":"Cooper and Chafetz"},"content":{"rendered":"

Fellow right-wing tool Marc Cooper has a gut-bustingly funny (and sad) column<\/a> in this week’s LA Weekly that sums up my view of the election pretty neatly (and funnily). It begins…<\/p>\n

THE IMAGES I HAVE<\/b> in my head are not pretty. Bill Clinton, prone in a backless hospital gown, his eyes fixed on the muted TV above his head, a CNN graphic showing Kerry down in every poll this week. Clinton\u2019s left hand lazily plays with and curls his tummy hair, his right hand presses the hospital phone tighter to his face. John Kerry, on the other end of the line, sitting down on his bed reluctantly peeling off his windsurfer\u2019s wetsuit and straining to be respectful. With the pungent odor of smoking firewood drifting in from the beach, Kerry\u2019s got images of an old-fashioned Nantucket clambake dancing in his head and nagging at his appetite, but when the former president calls, especially when he\u2019s about to enter the ICU, you take the call. If he can hustle Clinton off the phone quickly enough, he figures he can squeeze in one more round of lacrosse before chowing down on some steamers.<\/p>\n

I can imagine Clinton\u2019s first question: “Hi, John, say, is Teresa there with you? What\u2019s she wearing?”<\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

…and just gets funnier and truer (in the manner of good fiction) from there.On a more serious note, I keep trying to write a better explanation of why I’m paralyzed over this election, and then I read Josh Chafetz’<\/a> and realize I don’t have to – he’s written it for me. His conclusion?<\/p>\n

These are serious questions to me. By and large, I prefer Kerry on domestic policy. On some domestic issues that I think are very important — gay marriage — I very strongly prefer Kerry. I’m also distressed (as I was writing before 9\/11) by the Bush Administration’s love affair with secrecy. But the most important issue to me right now is the war on terror, and I see the war in Iraq as an essential component of that. I’d love for Kerry to convince me that he will lead that effort capably. If he does that, I’ll vote for him. But he hasn’t yet. And, as I said above, I’m not convinced that Bush has so mismanaged it as to lose my vote. So, for now, I remain undecided, but Kerry will need to convince me, and he hasn’t yet.<\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I keep looking for a policy I can buy into, but instead, I just keep smelling steamers.<\/p>\n

Based on today’s WaPo\/ABC polls<\/a> (check out the trust on terrorism and certainty levels<\/a>), I’m not alone. <\/p>\n

Come on, John!! The games not over yet!! Sack it up and play a little, will you?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Fellow right-wing tool Marc Cooper has a gut-bustingly funny (and sad) column in this week’s LA Weekly that sums up my view of the election pretty neatly (and funnily). It begins… THE IMAGES I HAVE in my head are not pretty. Bill Clinton, prone in a backless hospital gown, his eyes fixed on the muted […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/marcdanziger.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/526"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/marcdanziger.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/marcdanziger.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/marcdanziger.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/marcdanziger.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=526"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/marcdanziger.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/526\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/marcdanziger.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=526"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/marcdanziger.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=526"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/marcdanziger.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=526"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}