Well, golly…
…it’s funny how the things that I do that are just thrown out there seem to get the biggest responses; as opposed to the things I sweat over and worry about.
The note on dating, below, got more traffic than anything else I’ve ever posted; funny how that works. My kinda serious comments on American political history or on ‘bug out kits’ over at Winds of Change didn’t get nearly the reaction. So I know what’s important to you people…or what you think I might know anything about.
It got fairly widely linked, and then Instalanched, and as a result hopefully I will get to have some interesting dialogs with some new folks.
In other ego-preening news, I (or at least my pseudonym) got into The Atlantic!! In print!! Thanks to Media Minded for ferreting this out…I stood by the mailbox waiting for my copy for five days!!
If my mother knew I was doing this, she’d be so proud…
Speaking of dialogs, I’ll be at the Blogging Event in Chinatown Saturday night; I’m looking forward to meeting some other blogfolks (Tenacious G is tolerant of it…).

So Tenacious G (my sweetie) and I went out for our pre-Valentine’s Day dinner last night. We have the boys Friday, and it’ll be a zoo everywhere, so we went to our favorite neighborhood bistro and had a nice dinner together.
Which was slightly spoiled by the conversation at the next table. I’m usually pretty good at filtering, and too polite to acknowledge that I’m eavesdropping (or reading your mail upside down on your desk), but this was just too much, in every sense of the word.
It was a first date. He was (from the conversation) about my age, but overweight, balding, and with a sunlamp tan and a ponytail…a combination that I can’t imagine the ladies could resist. I’m commenting on his physical attributes (actually more his ‘presentation’ of them) because they meshed so well with the personality that he displayed at dinner.
I kept one eye on my watch for a bit and at one point he talked over three minutes without stopping. I think she said about ten words in the entire hour and a half that we were there, and the conversation from their table never stopped.
They (he, actually) discussed Iraq. He’s against it, but he would have gone to Canada if his lottery number had come up during Vietnam and would personally drive his son to Canada today (in his Ferrari) if he was in any danger of serving in the military. We can’t invade Iraq, he explained, because we haven’t defeated Al Quieda, and we haven’t made a settlement between the Israelis and Palestinians. Once we do those things, he’d be open to considering it if it was OK with the U.N.
I have a discussion on his points over at Winds of Change.
He discussed work. He’s apparently a prosecutor, and he discussed how unfair the laws that he is sworn to enforce are, and how he practices his own form of ‘jury nullification’ on cases that he thinks are just unfair.
He discussed (at painful length) his divorce, his lack of a relationship with his children, and his dysfunctional dating history.
He discussed his cars (a 70’s Ferrari, a 60’s Porsche, and a new BMW).
He discussed dancing, and the kind of music he likes. He went on a long riff about ‘the sensuality of just moving your body to music’…i.e. he dances like a white guy.
So in 90 minutes, he did a kind of miniature ‘Biography Channel’ special on himself.
There are so many problems here…
Look, I’ve never been a ‘playa’, but I’ve certainly dated a bunch (TG would say ‘more than a bunch’) and met a bunch of neat women (even married a couple). I’ve given some dating advice to my sons and to my more relationship-challenged friends (male and female, showing that they’ll take advice from anybody). But it was all I could do not to turn around in my chair last night and go “Stop. Stop now. Ask her something about herself, and let her complete her answer. Explore her interests. Hand her the keys to the conversation, because believe me at the rate this is going you aren’t going to be getting any tonight.”
So let me offer some dating advice to my fellow middle-aged divorced guys:
Shut the fuck up.
Don’t try and ‘sell’ yourself, it’s boring and ineffective. Help her sell herself, and in doing so you’ll sell yourself far more effectively than you could otherwise.
Don’t inventory your possessions, inventory your passions.
Don’t recount, in real-time, the story of your failed prior relationships.
Don’t talk down your exes.
Basically, don’t assume that you’re the only interesting person in the room.
And lose the damn ponytail.

Go read this very funny blog.
I hate golf, by the way.

We’re having a kind of a debate about France over at Winds of Change. I am letting it take me to a philosophical discussion (surprise!).

I’ll suggest that morality and spirituality in politics is central and absolutely necessary, on one hand, and incredibly dangerous on the other. I’ll follow with the assertion that the genius of the American Foundation was that it both provided a sphere for a politics centered on moral and spiritual values, and that it explicitly denied morality and spiritual values a seat at the political table.

This was a brilliant bank shot which has led to the American genius of assimilation and to the cultural openness which has made us the dominant force in the world for over a hundred years.

I’ve got some thoughts about my almost-second country, France.

Our frustration with France comes from our (not unreasonable) assumption that a) since we keep bailing them out of military difficulties; b) we rebuilt their economy twice; and c) they lived under our military protection for twenty years, they would act as allies and assume that our interests were parallel, with small differences involving metric v. English measurement and whether we would sell Michelin or UniRoyal tires to various third-word accounts.
They don’t feel that way.
…

Here’s what the Armed Liberal household packs in our cars:

OK, here are the contents of the first-aid kits we keep in the cars and house. Note that these are way too much for a simple accident; they are intended to support several people over several days and deal with a wide range of injuries and conditions.
…

I have some comments on bureaucracy and the Columbia disaster over at WoC. They may not be what you expect…

Part 2 is up over at Winds of Change…education and Iraq…

Check out our new digs at www.windsofchange.net. We have some painting to do, and maybe some drapes and carpet, but the structure looks pretty sound.
I’ve opened with Part I of the response the Dems should have made to Bush’s State of the Union speech.

(From Doonsebury)

…and the problem with this would be?
Here’s the deal; we’re in a changing world right now, and the changes are going to hit the ‘creative’ businesses pretty hard. Jimmy’s right that the world supported by mega-acts in turn supported by mega record sales…requiring mega-distribution, mega-promotion, and mega-corporate structures to support ‘the star-making machinery behind the popular song’ is probably going to get a lot smaller. It is already.
Is that a bad thing, though? The market for estates on the Costa Smerelda in Sardinia may get a little smaller; but a new door opens as an old one closes.
I’ll argue that it ought to be more possible to make a ‘middle-class’ living as a musician or writer.
In the case of music, bands, playing small venues, supported by regional fan bases and direct sales of their music, ought to be able to generate middle-class incomes for their members. You can have kids. If your SO works, you could buy a house.
I’m under no illusion that it wouldn’t be damn hard work to get there and every day once you were there. But most jobs are hard work, and the idea that an independent artist could monetize what they do on an ongoing basis…
…rather than playing Music Industry Lotto and working for nothing for years in the hopes of hitting it huge…
…strikes me as a damn good thing. I say this as a consumer of music who long ago gave up going to stadium shows in favor of clubs.
I think the same model applies in books, video, and potentially games. the current channels won’t go away. The Britney Spears’ of the world we will always have with us, sadly. But new alternatives will open up; we’re on the verge of an explosion of new models, content, and possibilities.
Most of them will vanish, but some may just survive.
I should make a disclosure, and comment that I have a substantial personal investment in a startup aimed at making just this happen. So you could say I’m shilling for my interests.
Or that I’m putting my money where my mouth is.