So fellow turncoat Democrat (hey, we just don’t believe in deceptive memes, bubba) Kaus points me to author Ron Rosenbaum’s piece over at Pajamas, where he actually gives some damn good advice to Obama (not as good as mine, I’ll argue). But then Rosenbaum goes on to slag Starbucks in the post just below.Now, I’ve never drunk a cup of coffee in – well, a long time. I’d sip them when I was younger and dating and dates would suggest that the only reason why I didn’t like coffee was because I hadn’t tasted theirs – which always seemed like an invitation to an early breakfast, if you know what I mean.
Coffee sucks. Fully. Mark Helprin got it right in his great book ‘Memoirs From An Ant-Proof Case‘.
But, strangely, Starbucks does not suck.
What, you might ask, does a non-coffee-drinker see in Starbucks? And I’ll tell you. Go to the counter and order this: Nonfat cocoa, no vanilla, no whip. Just that: pure, hot, almost bitter chocolate. Damn, it’s good. As far as I’m concerned the markets are investing hundreds of millions and people are drinking mediocre coffee just so I can get my hot chocolate.
And I see absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Wow. Marc Danziger doesn’t like coffee — I thought I was the only one. Thanks for the advice on Starbucks chocolate, I like chocolate, even bitter chocolate.
My theory is that as a kid I would get the stomach flu, only nowadays it isn’t really flu but Norovirus or perhaps mild food poisoning, and as a kid one is susceptible to this kind of thing until one builds up immunity through exposure. Anyway, Mom gave me a coffee can, if you know what I mean.
So the coffee can would have this aroma of stale, rancid coffee oils in it, and this smell would be held close to one’s face until the inevitable happened.
I think we are programmed by evolution to engage in what behavioral psychologists call one-trial learning not to eat or drink anything that made us feel sick, even once. In fact, we are programmed to be revulsed by anything that could remotely make us sick. I am thinking that I participated in a behavioral psychology trial to deprogram me from even wanting to come near coffee.
So Mr. Danziger, what did your folks do when you had the stomach flu?
Nothing like that, for sure…
A.L.
I grew up in Seattle, so it was inevitable that I would learn to drink coffee. I started with the Mochas and Mocha Frapuccinos, and then slowly learned to drink plain coffee when I needed the caffiene (finals cramming).
Now I’ve learned to appreciate really good, extremely dark coffee. For my honeymood we went to Costa Rica, and drank nothing but local coffee for two weeks. We ended up bringing about 5lbs of coffee back home with us (which lasted two months).
Since then we only buy fair trade south american coffee. There’s a coop down the street that sells it. It’s expensive, but a lot less than buying coffee out. And a whole lot better.
My wife loves coffee, but she also loves extremely dark chocolate (her parents got her hooked on the $4 green and black’s chocolate bars) so I’ll have to recommend this to her.
I’ve never acquired the habit (and that’s what it is). Once in a while, when I really have to stay awake, I’ll drink a cup, and it works. But I’ve observed that people who drink it all the time develop a tolerance, and can’t wake up without it. No thanks.
And Starbucks has nothing to offer me. It’s all coffee and carbs. They’d be out of business if I were the market.
Rand: For that reason I mostly drink 70/30 decaf/caffeinated mix. Love the coffee, but save the caffeine for when I need it.
Well, TG drinks coffee, and I’ll put in a plug for http://www.coffeefool.com – she says their coffee (she drinks French Roast brewed v. strong) is noticeable fresher and ‘better’ than Peets which is in turn better than Starbucks).
A.L.
bq. the markets are investing hundreds of millions and people are drinking mediocre coffee just so I can get my hot chocolate.
Very clever, AL, slipping in a metaphor for Obama’s health care plan…
I’ll admit i have a problem. I like coffee but i don’t care how bad it is. Maybe its just the caffeine rush. I’ll drink lousy coffee black, just dont care. I’m ashamed. I’m the equivalent of the guy that guzzles 2$ bottles of wine, happy as a clam. Actually i’m that guy as well. Sigh.
I used to love diner coffee, I just can’t deal with it anymore. It’s not horrible, just flavorless.
When I was a kid my parents were in a traveling bowling league, and I’d go along with them because it was a chance to go somewhere. At the bowling alleys the only drink that was free, other than water, was coffee.
I discovered that with plenty of cream and sugar I could actually sort of like it.
Over time I got to where I preferred it black, and on cold mornings a thermos of hot coffee to take to work was really nice. It was convenience-store coffee, so it’s not like I was a connoisseur or anything, but I did learn which stores not to go to for coffee. Eesh.
Living in Alaska for five years, hot coffee in the morning was a necessity. Living in Georgia for the past nine years, not so much. Now the only time I drink coffee is at my mother-in-law’s house. For all I know the only time she makes coffee is when we visit, and the only reason is because I’ll drink it.
I’m with ya on the coffee, A.L. Can’t stand it, never drink it. Got forced through sheer social pressure (long story) to drink an espresso a couple of years ago. I was still feeling it two days later. Never again.
Also, props on the mention for Memoir From Antproof Case. I love that book. Its a shame Helprin doesn’t write more than he does.
McGhee: Have you tried cold coffee in the morning? Brew a pot the night before, and then throw it into the fridge. Better yet, make coffee ice cubes and those to your coffee in the morning. You need to brew it darker than usual, but you get the coffee taste without the heat.
Count me in with the non-coffee drinkers. Never cared for the taste and never saw a good enough reason to work at acquiring an addiction. If I need a quick caffeine hit, I’ll drink a can or two of Dew.
He’s the number one Senate recipient of Country Wide’s largesse, his former vetter was Fannie Mae honcho James Johnson, one of his major bundlers is Robert Wulf of UBS, Some of his staff like Valerie Jarrett comes from the subprime Pritzer Superior
Bank. It’s not the best strategy
to follow through; but it may be the only choice.
PJ’s just proved what I always though that nobody got both parties are capitalist parties at heart. As to the financial house complaint the case is there to be made. But whom will bite the hand that finds them
Learned to love hot sweet coffee working in a structural steel plant in New England, in the winter. Temps in the teens, big open sheds with the wind blowing through- sure felt good on the fingers at break-time! And worked to warm up the core too.