TG and I went to get our marriage license today. TG did some research, and discovered that instead of waiting half the day in line downtown, there was a local ‘marriage place’ that performed weddings (not ours) and could do the license for you for an additional $30 over the basic cost. Seemed like a no-brainer.
So off we went to our appointment in a nondescript little building off the 405 freeway, and as we stepped in, we saw what at first struck me as a sad and somewhat tawdry sight: a small room filled with white folding chairs, artificial flowers in an arch over the front of the room, and a karaoke machine in one corner. But the walls were filled with photos, and as I looked closer, I saw that they were vintage wedding photos; based on the clothes and hair, most were from the 40’s and 50’s – many hand-tinted, with some going back to the teens and 20’s. It turns out that the proprietor collects them at flea markets.I was struck by one photo in particular, which looked to be from the mid to late 50’s. The bride and groom were black, with two small black children as ringbearer and flower girl. But the best man – dressed in an identical dinner jacket to the groom – was white, with a slicked-back flat-top and a serious look, eyes directly at the camera, while the groom smiled warmly at his bride.
There’s a story behind that picture, I thought.
And a story behind all the rest of them as well, I realized, to which we’ll be adding our own soon enough.
And then, to make the day perfect in this election year, the man who issued our license was named Nixon.
Congratulations and best wishes.
I know neither of you are Christians (heck, I’m not either), but the traditional words seem most appropriate:
What God has joined together, let no man put asunder.
Here’s to a lasting union. May you both enjoy the blessings of love to the end of your days.
A.L. and TG:
Don’t go to sleep angry. If you have a fight, settle it before you go to sleep. If/when you discover you are right, apologize immediately! (RAH)
Best of luck always
Phil
Best of wishes from me too. I don’t know how your wedding ceremony will go, but the pagan wedding ceremonies our church performs go like this:Pagan wedding ceremony as performed by our church:
Our wedding ceremony begins preferably when it’s almost dark, with the family and friends of the loved ones gathering. The male relatives put logs onto a pile. The bride’s and groom’s fathers exchange logs before they put them on the fire. The pagan priest blesses the fire and lights it. A trumpeteer or bagpiper plays a melody. This is the sign for the groom to walk to the fire barefoot. When he reaches the fire, the music stops. Now the women beat their tamborines and sing a love song. The bride, flowers in her hair walks to the fire barefoot. The music stops, when she reaches the fire. Her father pulls up her veil, gives her a kiss and takes a step back. The priest recites a poem and states the reason of the gathering.The lovers exchange wedding vows and wedding rings, bracelets or necklaces. The priest now takes their hand and puts them into each other over the fire. He recites a poem about forging a bond. The wedding guests hold each others hand and form a circle. The circle rotates against the path of the sun while the participants sing love songs. If there are a lot of guests, there should be another circle, but this one rotates with the path of the sun. After a few songs, the priest will ask the husband and wife to kiss each other. After this the two of them dance in the circle as the guests sing a love song. When this over, the pagan part of the ceremony is over and the disco music, the dancing and eating can start.
Heh, Mr. Vandal, after your description the Sir Galahad scene from Monty Python’s Holy Grail came to mind: “And after the spanking comes the oral sex.” 😛 (no disrespect intended)
(Applause!) Long life, good health, many children and permanent marriage for the happy couple! (And more applause!)
Best wishes to the both of you.
Best wishes to the both of you.
Wow. Thanks for all the good wishes; I’ll take them all and more, since in my mind, that public affirmation is a lot of what marriage is about.
Our actual wedding is in a little less than a month; I’ll add all your thoughts to those of the people physically there.
A.L.
AL,
The “tawdry” comment bothers me a little. My wife and I were married before a judge, with no witnesses or family, in what appeared to be an interrogation room with a two-way mirror. We were under an arch with cheap plastic flowers, dressed in jeans and polyester fleece. (We had tried to get a bail bondsman, who was also a notary, to do it, but he didn’t have the correct form of notary certification).
I like looking a friends’ wedding albums, with their fancy cakes and legions of relatives, but you know what? That wedding was perfect for us: just two people pledging their lives and fortunes (and sacred honor?) to each other. The only thing I might change, if I could, would be to bring some of our endangered-species stuffed animal collection to serve as witnesses.
Who cares what the wedding looks like? The people in it are the only thing that matters.
The best to you and TG.
Rob
Rob; it wasn’t the fact that it wasn’t posh that made it tawdry to me; it was the effort to have the touches of posh but without care (artificial plants) or personal context. (Example: two friends were married at a justice of the peace’s office in Arizona; essentially a lawyer’s office, but with fresh flowers that he said he brought in on the days he did weddings; he gave the bride one of the flowers, as he explained he did to everyone. Tat personal touch melted me completely, and I’ve always felt that was one of the more emotionally satisfying weddings that I’ve been to – even though there were three of us plus the bride and groom…)
And a big part of what I meant in the post was the extent to which it was completely redeemed by the pictures. I’m still kind of swanned by the emotional impact of them; the idea of all those images, salvaged by the owner and brought together in that place.
Again, it wasn’t that it was modest that I was commenting on, and if it came across that way, I do apologize…
A.L.
Knowing you and TG and some of what it’s taken for you two to get from there to here, I have a world of faith in the two of you.
All the best,
Kathryn
Belated congrats! Just now found this post; I wish you both the best.