I’ve been less than honest with you folks for the last eight months or so.
It’s a difficult thing to write about, for a variety of reasons that’ll be obvious in a moment. But I’ve been increasingly uncomfortable at not disclosing something that seems pretty darn germane to many of the issues I think and read write about; and I’m finally uncomfortable enough that it’s time to say something.
My oldest son – Biggest Guy, Eric – will report to Ft. Benning Sept. 18 and join the Army. He chose last year to enlist on his graduation from UVA as an enlisted man, rather than an officer, and to enlist with a MOS of 18X. This places him on a track from Basic Training through Jump School directly to Q-School where he will try and directly qualify for Special Forces.As you can imagine, I’ve got a million different emotions about this. And I’ve been reluctant to post on it because the last thing I want from this is some kind of political point on a nonexistent scorecard.
Today, I want to post this as a parent, not a political blogger.
The thing I have tried hard to impress on my sons is their need to find something that will engage them and to grab onto it with both hands and see where it will take them in life. Too often, the media we see portray the ephemera of what we do – status, money – and ignore the actual soul-satisfying substance of the work that leads to it. I believe passionately in the truth of that pursuit as a plan for one’s life, and that to pursue engagement and challenge is the highest career that we can choose.
The risk of taking that kind of position with your children is that what you think they ought to or might find engagement in isn’t necessarily what they find engaging.
And in a way, I’m proudest of him for that – for picking his own path and following his own heart, and not the plans his mother(s) and I have made for him as we watched him grow.
I’m anxious for him, as well. I’m not delusional, and I believe strongly that we will as a country be in combat during his time in the service. I know that the odds are in his favor, and that realistically I’m probably more at risk riding my motorcycle on the 405 freeway. But it certainly doesn’t feel that way in my stomach when I think about it.
I’m anxious because of the difficulty of the path he has chosen; but at the same time, knowing some of the men who have walked it, I am confident that he can make it and that if he does, what he finds there – the ‘self’ he will find there – will suit him extraordinarily well.
He is choosing a path that will be challenging in ways I can only imagine, and by challenging himself in those and other ways he has the opportunity to grow and stretch the capabilities of adult he is becoming into someone amazing.
And, in reality, I am just facing the strange thing that all parents face with their children as they grow – the simple fact that they soon outgrow our ability to parent and protect them – sometimes by a really long way. So we just love them and work to understand them.
I’ve been doing a lot of reading in the last months about this. Three books stand out, and I’ll happily recommend them:
Chosen Soldier, a book that details the program that he will be going through.
Imperial Grunts, by Kaplan
On Combat, by Dave Grossman (author of ‘On Killing’). I was given this to review, and will in the next week or so. But suffice it to say that I’ve given my copy to my son to read and keep.
A final word, as a blogger.
My adult son’s independent decision about what he wants to do with his life has no bearing on me or on what I write. My views and words about the issues that have concerned me for five years or more are not one gram more significant nor my arguments one iota stronger or weaker because of the decision which he independently made. Judge me as a parent if you will, but please do not judge my positions as a writer based on this act by someone else.
The credit and honor for his choices and actions are his, and his alone. I fed him and paid his college tuition. He took those materials and made himself what he is. A son who I dearly love and would be proud of whatever passion he has found and followed.
I’m proud of both of you.
Welcome to the world of being a soldier’s parent. My two oldest sons are MPs in the Army. They are both deployed to Iraq, one’s been there for 13 months, coming back in September, and the other one has just arrived in Kuwait this past weekend to start his 15 months.
bq. My adult son’s independent decision about what he wants to do with his life has no bearing on me or on what I write. My views and words about the issues that have concerned me for five years or more are not one gram more significant nor my arguments one iota stronger or weaker because of the decision which he independently made. Judge me as a parent if you will, but please do not judge my positions as a writer based on this act by someone else.
I could state the same for myself. But my outlooks are the opposite side of yours in regard to this war. Their joining of the Army only makes what is going on over there more personal. More so when they get deployed and even more so when attacked by EFPs, totaling a couple of up-armored Hummvees with them in it. It has only reinforced my resolve. It will be interesting to see how the experience affects you.
Bravo, AL! Best wishes to Eric.
Marc: no need to apologize to us: this level of Serious Life-Decision can’t be easy for either you, as a parent, or for your son to lightly deal with. Congratulations to you both.
Marc, he has my respect and my jealousy as I wish myself young enough to do likewise.
“My views and words about the issues that have concerned me for five years or more are not one gram more significant nor my arguments one iota stronger or weaker because of the decision which he independently made. ”
Bravo, Marc. The anti-Sheehan Manifesto. But as always your words have significance and credibility for their thoughtfulness.
Some men go an entire lifetime without finding a thing worth fighting for. Finding it at an age when one can do something about it is a mortal gift. Congratulations and best wishes to you both.
Old son!
You couldn’t write anything that would make me think better of you than, “I raised a son who tried for Special Forces.” You write this like an apology, when it ought to be a celebration.
Good for you and good for him. De Oppresso Liber.
Good luck to your son as he goes through his basic! Please look into soldiersangels.org and submit him for support when he has an address overseas. We will make sure he gets plenty of support and appreciation for his service to our country. If you think he’d like some letters of support sooner than he is deployed, please email me and I will set him up with some mail!
God bless you and your son. Thanks for a thoughtful post, too.
Adele
Soldiers’ Angels
All the best to both of you.
Each of you seek to liberate the oppressed, albeit by by following different paths. A fine example of what makes America the greatest country on earth.
May God bless and keep you both.
Yes, who can know what path our children will choose? When we encouraged our son to perhaps reconsider extending his enlistment, he responded, “Mom, Dad — I’m a soldier. It’s what I do. Didn’t you tell me to find a career that I liked and was good at?” Then we’d say, “Well, yes, son… but we thought you’d be an accountant or something.” It always made him laugh.
My only advice to you as parents would be to attend every one of those “events” at Ft. Benning if you can arrange it: Family Weekend, Graduation, Airborne Graduation… There were fewer moments of parental pride than on those occasions.
You and your son will be in our thoughts and prayers.
Bless you both, and keep an open mind. Your personal experience absolutely MUST come into play in your writing. There are enough opinions out there unanchored by any sense of personal stake in what’s happening in Iraq.
When you have flesh and blood there, it gives you, as they say in the old country, “a whole new perspective.”
Suddenly, political attempts to pull the funding rug out from under the troops that are getting shot at look unethical and immoral, not just opportunistic. Suddenly, military bashing in the midst of a brutal war seems like a horrible thing only a monster would do, not just a difference of opinion.
Too many of us are judging Iraq by two things: the Washington atmospherics, and the body count. Having someone participating in the fight will forcibly tie you to what’s happening on the ground — it has to. You can’t help it. And to let that perspective NOT inform your broader assessments about the war would be a shame.
When the gnashing of teeth and hand-wringing gets to be too much, I remind myself of this – the likelihood of becoming a casualty is remarkably small, and the likelihood of anything happening that our crack medics, doctors and nurses can’t handle is also remarkably small. We have two family members there, one in Afghanistan, and one in Iraq, and that has been my saving grace.
Here is part of the obituary for my step daughter, even when our children chose to spend their lives doing good for others they can go in harms way. She was killed by a bear in Romania. You bet I wish she had a gun with her.
KATHRYN IRENE EVANS NEE LA PLANTE Passed away suddenly in Romania Saturday June 23, 2007. She was born Oct. 27, 1976 in Lake County, IL the daughter of Gregory and Judith (Garwood) LaPlante. Katie lived in Antioch, IL and attended Grass Lake School in Antioch and Astoria Grade School in Astoria and graduated from Emmons Grade School and Antioch High School in 1994. She earned her BA Degree from St. Cloud State University in St. Cloud, MN in 1998 and a Masters Degree in Public Health from Florida International University in North Miami, FL in 2006. Katie spent her life in service to others; serving as a Peace Corps Volunteer from 2000-2002 in Bangladesh; at the Greater Chicago Food Depository as coordinator of volunteer services from 2002-2004; and in Romania as Project Manager for International Orthodox Christian Charities USAID funded project, “Strengthening Community-Based Initiatives on HIV/AIDS and Family Violence in Romania†from April 2006 until her death on June 23, 2007. Katie loved spending time with family and friends and being out of doors anytime anyplace. She met John Evans while serving in the Peace Corps. They were married on May 8, 2004 in Hobart, IN.
I have never been to your blog before; I followed a link provided by Blackfive. Yes, our children grow up before our eyes. If we have done our job, they are able to move on into the futures they foresee for themselves without stumbling over the private dreams of their parents. When you raise a son to be honorable,ethical, compassionate, and courageous, then it doesn’t matter what career they choose to express these qualities. Bravo to your son and bravo to you.
As a mom of 2 soldiers ( who knew nothing about the military) I have found that the Army
gave my kids something no one else could. The sense
of being part of something strong and proud. The knowledge that they can set their sites high and achieve things they never dreamed..
Make sure you go to the graduation. Its an experience
you will never forget and a moment of pride like no other.
Congrats to your son for joining the best of the best
Soldier Angel Robin
To John Schaffer,
My heart breaks for you and your family over the death of your beloved Kathryn. There are no words.
Renee Poudrier
North Carolina USA
Good for him! He’s chosen to try a tough row to hoe and I hope for his success.
After parents work hard to raise their children to make their own decisions, it is always gratifying when they make ones that you can be proud of; your son made such a decision.
Hat’s off to both of you, and please add my thanks to your son for serving our country.
Good luck to you both.
A.L., thanks for writing. Heartfelt, and it gives this war such a personal focus. Look forward to seeing how your thinking will evolve.
America: Land of the free, because of the brave. Please pass along my gratitude.
If there is such a thing in a boy’s life as “The Loyal Opposition”, it is a diligent father. My son is on his 2nd tour in Iraq, MOS 11 Charlie, now at Combat Outpost Viking. I cannot imagine having two sons there, like Bryan Price, commenter above. I know we fathers hope our sons will have purity of purpose and a life vision, and we succeeded. What opportunities they have to stand against tyranny, to lift the downtrodden, to deliver hope, in person.
Your post reminds me of myself, proud of the man my son is, with a sadness for dreams changed and opportunities lost. He was to have left the Army, go to college, and play football. Instead, a warrior’s heart grows within him, and he is God’s own purpose, the rough man who keeps guard at night. I sleep better for it, though the telephone and doorbell will never ring for me the same again. You may experience similar.
Your son and mine reached their military decisions, due in no small part to basic values learned at home. Our son’s share an American heritage where service is called honorable. His belief that this is worth defending and encouraging elsewhere is nothing short of noble.
When the media smears the reputations of all American soldiers when one or a few are found to have acted dishonorably, you may take umbrage. When the good you know your son is doing goes unnoticed in the media, but it gives hours of coverage that demoralize our soldiers and encourage those trying to kill them, you may wish for treason trials for talking heads,media moguls, and some elected idiots. When brutallity is done to an American soldier by cowardly murderers, you may thank God it is not your son but your heart and soul will ache for that soldier and his family. You will never hear the full story from him, though you will see it in his face, feel it from his eyes. You will come to know in a personal way that “the American military” is made up, with few exceptions, of really good people, sons and daughters of America.
Be proud, sir. You’ve got yourself an American son.
I’ll ditto AMac:) Thanks for writing this, AL, and congrats & good luck to your son, for whom I feel admiration and gratitude, and a wish that his path goes as well as it can.
AL –
You should be very proud of him. With you raising him I am sure he will elevate the average wherever he goes. He is about to embark on a noble calling. May he go with your blessing and G-d’s protection.
He will be joining a most honorable fraternity. He (and you) will be in my thoughts over the coming months.
Congratulations on joining the family, and thank you for your service in support of your son.
Mr. Shaffer, I offer my heartfelt condolences. Service is service, and I thank you for your daughter’s service–thanks which are, of course, not enough.
I wish your son every success in his military career. May he acquit himself honorably and come home safe from time to time.
Oh, and may he rise to the challenge and enjoy it!
A.L.
Wow… my daughter goes off to college in a few weeks and I thought that was tough. Best wishes to both you and your son.
Armed Liberal, may your son come home successful, and safely and soon.
My son completed the “Q” course several years ago and has recently read Chosen Soldier. His take is that it is an invaluable “heads-up” for anyone headed that way. Make sure your son reads it.
Also, if your son is serious about making his way in SF, recommend that he tackle Ranger School after the “Q” course. The “triple canopy” almost says it all when someone wonders what kind of soldier the wearer might be. With Ranger School and the “Q” course behind him, there are maybe only a couple of other mil schools that might challenge him at all.
And lastly, do whatever you need do to be there for his graduation at Ft. Bragg.
#12 – John Shaffer – I am so sorry to hear of the unfortunate events around your step daughter’s death. You can be proud that she chose to serve others.
Armed – Be very, very proud of your son. A grateful nation is also.
The Hobo
AL:
My respects to you both and a tip of the cap to your son. He’s chosen a hard but honorable road and I wish him all the luck in the world with it. I understand your angst and concern, having had a son who served as a cavalry scout during Desert Storm. Being the parent of a soldier isn’t easy (and I wish I’d realized that when I was a soldier). I wish you and he (and your entire family) the very best. You’ll all be in my prayers.
AL,
bq The credit and honor for his choices and actions are his, and his alone. I fed him and paid his college tuition. He took those materials and made himself what he is.
You may not think you deserve any credit, but some one taught him the life lessons to become the man he is. My guess it wasn’t the politicians in Washington. Gods speed and our prayers go with your son. May he serve with honor and pride. Congratulations to the parents on a job well done.
AL,
As other commenters have noted, you’ve done well. I think that just being there – doing the parenting – suffices for saying you’ve done your job. My son has chosen this field also – he is currently in Iraq at Camp Striker. And doing a whale of of a job. He’s going on 14 years in the Army and certainly has it in mind to get in 20-30. He’s happy with his choices, despite having little ones of his own. And he certainly feels that he is doing good and useful things. And I support his choices 100%. And, as a few others have noted, I also feel that he is keeping me safer.
That funny feeling in your stomach isn’t just because he’s in the Army. It’s because you have no more control of his choices. I was like that. I tried to talk him out of it, at first. He just never seemed the military type (as if I knew). I worry about his safety but I think I’d worry about something anyway – it’s just a parent thingy. And you’ll have plenty of opportunities to get pissed off at the Army throughout his career. The Army is the epitome of bureaucratic bungling. But the soldiers learn to deal with it better than parents do. Try not to lose sleep over it. It’s all good.
Honored to know of you and your son. And thanks to both of you.
AL,
Thanks for sharing with us your son’s decision. You have every reason to be proud of him, his courage and commitment, and his considered choice of the hard but narrow path.
I agree with those above who think that you must have shared insights, values and love of country with your son for him to make this kind of decision for his life.
My 11 year old, a big fan of the military and an amazing student of history, is seriously contemplating West Point. I know it sounds funny, but if you knew Little Manly…I think I’d prefer him as an officer, rather than an enlisted soldier like his Dad, he’s a born leader, and he’ll possibly have more influence.
And yet, I graduated with my degree and then enlisted. I grew into the NCO, then 1SG, who knew how critically important are the first line leaders, specialists and corporals and buck sergeants, team and squad leaders.
So hats off to your son, may G*d bless and prosper him, shield him from harm even in the midst of necessary violence. May he encourage his fellow soldiers, may he do his best in training, may he follow good leaders and draw others in his wake.
And Congrats, Dad. Your son’s quite a man.
Best of luck to both of you. If I were in your position, I would guess I would feel a mixture of pride, elation and anxiousness. While it’s an amazing thing to become member of special forces (I have a few acquaintances who have tried out for SEALS and gave up) it’s also a tough world out there, and this opportunity means that your flesh and blood serves on the front lines.
I’ve never met your son, but I assume that by his choices (and by yours) that he serves with integrity and honor. I’m sure that he will be well regarded wherever his boots lnad.
Congratulations to you, and a hearty “Thank you” to your son. May God shower you both, with blessings and stories to enjoy.
I’ll recommend Nathaniel Fick’s _One Bullet Away_ as a slightly lighter autobiographical history of one Recon Marine officer’s journey.
Congratulations!
I know some young men whose parents are not as supportive as you are. But when their mind is made up, its made up. They will get advice from somewhere – so be there for him!
Be sure to make his graduation ceremonies – Basic, Jump School, and the Q course as well as his specialty schools.
Get involved in supporting his unit and be there for all the soldiers and their spouses!
My oldest son served in Gulf I as an 11B Infantryman. My youngest son currently served in the army, and re-enlisted in the Navy and is a Chinese Language Specialist (he stated he liked the Navy mission, EP-3s, better). My other son (Infantry) and my daughter (Korean Language Specialist) also served in the Army.
You’re right, when everything comes to the last button it is as parents how we look at these things. Support him, continue to be proud of him, learn the history of whichever unit he gets assigned to, and when he qualifies know that he is serving with some of the best of the very best.
Try not to worry too much. No, really ! His training will be strenuous but will be more than adequate to prepare him for what he will face. His fellows will also be members of the best equipped, best trained Force ever; and they will be a Band of Brothers.
I thank your son for his service, and thank you too for raising a son like him.
I think the most difficult of the rights of passage that I experienced was having to accept that I still had a son but no longer had a child.
I am sure you have been an excellent protector, provider and guide, an excellent father. I am also sure that you will continue to be an excellent father, only in different roles. This is all that is asked of us, even though we want to do more.
Congratulations on a job well done.
Welcome to the club of us Army parents. I will keep your family in my prayers. Tell your son we are very greatful for his service.
-Dad of a tanker
This fine young patriot will be in our family’s prayers. What a tribute to our nation.
Good luck to you and your son!
My #2 son (who graduated from the University of Chicago – my school – with honors) took the summer off (before starting a job with a consulting company) to teach Russian kids in Siberia English – on his own dime.
In a way I’m prouder of the second bit than the first.
I’m pproud of your son and you, that had the courage to encourage him. He has chosen a tough rewarding profession, sometimes scary, some times just plain fun. I have 3 in the Us Military – 2 Marine LTCs, 1 Army Major whojust back from Iraq, they have all served in Iraq. Thank your son for his committment and effort – best of luck and a prayer for all in the Military and for their Dad’s and Mom’s – for courage and forebearance!
Mark, it looks like you got a ready-made support group here, and are joining a wonderful community of Parents of Soldiers. Your son sounds like a very impressive young man.
AL,
My hat goes off to your son, and please pass along a very big THANK YOU.
My hat also goes off to you, not because of his choice, but because you emphasized conviction and passion during his learning years. That’s a very unselfish lesson to pass on, as a person doesn’t always find the path the teacher thought he would/should.
I can’t relate to a son in the military, that’s a bond I know not of,but I have two nephews that serve. Two nephews that I’ve always been very close with. Between both, numerous deployments (Afgan, Iraq, Horn of Africa). They think I’m blowing smoke their way (being the big Uncle they always looked up to) when I tell them “Your more of a man at your age then I ever was and ever will be, and don’t EVER forget that. I look up to YOU.”
Both feel strongly they are doing good things and important things, and I agree.
I respect them immensely for their choices and convictions, as I do your son, and all who serve.
Bless them all….
Tony M
The lady at the blog Villainous Company has a truly outstanding post about this subject. She do have a way with words. Still, a woman’s goodbye is not the same as a man’s. A mother’s goodbye is not the same as a father’s. My spousal unit would tell me that it’s one of level of committment, of how the chicken isn’t quite as committed to the ham and egg breakfast as the pig…. Perhaps that is true in some respects. But, you won’t find all the answers in her post either.
There’s a bunch of stuff going on. To recognize this might help. Not only is he leaving your home, he’s going into harm’s way. When he goes, he goes for good. One way or another, He won’t come back the same. Part of this is due to the changes that would of happened in his life during this time, war or not. Another thing is that he’ll be experiencing something you can’t share. He’ll be going someplace you can’t go. A burden you can’t help bear. It’s HIS life now. He’s armed (emotionally) with whatever you’ve given him.
And you’ll be left behind, perhaps as it should be. But, he’ll be taking a part of you with him. Which part will depend on your relationship.
I can’t say I know how you feel. That’d be pretty damn presumptous. I can say that I’m a little bit ahead of you down this road. In fact, I’ve seen both sides now. When I came back from Afghan the second time, in the interim my oldest son had left our house and joined the service. I had been back for about a month and it hadn’t really hit me until dinner one night as I helped set the table. WHOA, only 3 settings now. BIG HOLE! I’ve got this picture I carry of him being swallowed up by my flight helmet. It seems like I took it just last week…. (That was my mental picture of him)
This is the point we can’t get back from…. Perhaps as it should be. After all, it’s HIS life now.
Marc, I congratulate you Both and wish you the best of successes. As the other commenters have indicated, there IS a support element out there if you (or your spouse) want to avail yourselves of it. There IS such a thing as the military family.
I wish you both success, AL. I don’t know if you’ve read Frank Schaeffer’s Keeping Faith and Faith of Our Sons, but you might enjoy both of them.
Marc,
My best wishes to both of you. You both work hard to make the world a better place, where ever you are led.
B.
I’m also working hard to make the world a better place, Beard. Do I deserve your best wishes as well?
I don’t have a son of my own. I have my big sisters’ sons, one of whom is about to enlist in the Marines, and the other who has already served in Iraq as a Marine.
He would be there now, but for an accident during debarkation in Kuwait that left one Marine dead when an artillery piece fell on him. My nephew got a hernia helping to roll the gun off him. So he missed his unit’s deployment (much to his disappointment) and is now recuperating in Kuwait City.
Everyone insists on making this war personal, usually in the wrong way. The “chickenhawk” squawkers love to pretend that no one who has no personal stake in this matter can have a serious opinion. I’m sure that’s how they look at it. If it doesn’t directly affect you, how could you possibly care?
But of course I would take it personally no matter what, just as I took it deeply personally when 2996 New Yorkers – not one of whom I had ever met in my life – were murdered.
So it may have no material impact on issues or arguments, as you say, but without that feeling of connection to your countrymen, blood relation or not, all issues are meaningless and all arguments are expendable. We are all paying for this – some more than others, but war is not a group insurance plan – or we are each of us alone, and if that is so then we are truly the nation of soulless, selfish consumers that some people claim we are.
My nephew could have stayed home playing video games and chasing college girls, instead of riding convoys and standing guard over an election that Iraq’s enemies said would never happen. He’s proud that he didn’t, and so am I. He’s the refutation of all the cynical arguments, made by people who know the price of everything and the value of nothing. I would rather die than live in a world where there are no more people like him.
Best wishes to Biggest Guy, and may all his dreams come true. De Oppresso Liber.
#48 Capitol C:
You certainly deserve our pity, given your poorly-veiled contempt.
AL, I apologize for going OT, but when you write your follow-up to the previous post, I’d be very interested in hearing your response to this post by Matthew Yglesias ,as well as the Nicholas Kristof column on which it’s based.
[Update: Fisked by Nortius, slight amendations followed. –NM]
Contempt, Nortius? Really? Without even wondering what it is that I do that provokes (justifies, really) my claim to be working for the betterment of humanity?
[Yes, your post to Beard was either contemptuous, offtopic, selfserving, ingenuous or baiting. Take your pick; you’re either tonedeaf to the thread or you are acting like a textbook narcissist. [Thus your contempt; thus my pity.] –NM]
You guys have a strange propensity for perceivng negativity or threat in the innocuous.
[Pot. Kettle. Why don’t you have a valid email address listed in your comments [so moderators can contact you offlist]? What are you FRAAAAID OF?]
Until you can demonstrate that you can control for this inherent bias, I think we should all keep in mind that it is likely to taint your views on any issue that requires a cold unbiased assessment of the will or intent of other people.
[Until you can demonstrate that you are more than an empty bag bloviating exclusively in public, I don’t think I need to be much concerned with your estimation of my views.]
I would imagine this flaw would be especially problematic when confronted with people who you have little or no understanding of….say, those who live in the Middle East?
[I hear wind. Wind, I tell you! That CURSED ALBATROSS!]
And you think you’re the one who should be serving up, rather than receiving, pity? Wow.
[Your smugness, I see, is still in full effect. And this is still off topic for this thread, which makes it rude and clueless no matter how right you are. See post below.]
You should be proud, Al. Best wishes to Eric.
Wahoo-wah!
AL, best wishes to your son, on his chosen path in life for the next few years. He made a good decision, and you should take some pride in that decision, as you were the parent responsible for guiding his growth into the young man he is today.
I understand & sympathize with your worries at being a military parent. As someone who has had friends & relatives in the Service, I know the apprehension, which must be 100 times greater for you. I recently spoke to a woman whose email was “devildogmama”. She has 3 sons serving in the Marines right now, I could only say “thank you” at that point. I only hope she can sleep sound at night.
Of course your online voice will remain the same, and that’s OK. There is nothing to prove-and nothing to disprove, either-by having a son in the Service. It does raise your credit with some of us, but we promise not to let it stand in the way of the Comments section. 🙂
Capotal (52):
I think you want to keep posting here because you want visibility for your views and this blog gets traffic. Am I correct?
Formal, regretful Marshal post:
Mail me within 24 hours or I will ban you from this blog until we have established that we can communicate like reasonable beings.
I’m not calling you out in the street, gunslinger style. Exactly the opposite. I’m calling you into the parlor. A place you seem to be resolutely refusing to go. I am tired of asking you in.
Spin that how you will, Pilgrim.
nortius dot maximus at thissite’sdomainname
I’ll leave voluntarily, with no regrets.
QED: we have established that we cannot communicate out of the public eye like reasonable beings. It takes two.
Folks, apologies for the OT; I’ll probably move all these posts somewhere special. Maybe the Winds Bad Example Gallery.
–Nort, aggrieved
Update:
When I said “aggrieved”, I meant in the sense of “feeling grief”, and no other.
I’m going to be crosslinking a comment in “my blog’s current top post”:http://gumptionology.blogspot.com/2007/07/notes-that-clay-shirkey-probably.html to here. I hope it inspires thought and comment. Successful blogs often resemble a form of intentional community. But much of what makes them really live is “Quality Without a Name”. Can we make our intentions explicit? Can we know ourselves? Should we do either of those things? How?
AS I stood upon dewy grass at sunrise, facing a raising flag, amongst flights of my new brothers, wearing a formal blue uniform and cap with a logo not of a baseball team or of a beer, I was overcome. There I stood, realizing the men that stood there before me, in honor, in love of country, under God. I watched this most beautiful spectacle of a flag being raised, a bugler playing reveille, the sun rising….I was over come with it all. I found my honor, I found my place, and that day for sure I became a man. I was numb from head to toe, dizzy almost. I knew that now I had nothing to prove to anyone but everything to prove to myself. I was two weeks into basic. I was wearing a new uniform that only sort of fit me and smelled of mothballs and acrylics. I stood there as many that died have stood before me. I darted my eyes to look at my new brothers..men that would die for me, with me, and because of me…we were all sworn to do so. I have never felt prouder as a person, man, American, but moreover I was proud of my parents for instilling this all in me. They had spent years fighting for me,..now I was going to be fighting for them. They fought me about going in and even refused to sign papers until I was 18 and could do it myself. And that I did, on my 18th Birthday.
During the “Parade” there was a memorial to a general who had passed who had been in Vietnam and several other conflicts. Taps was played, I was afraid to tear up as a new soldier but tear up I did, not like a baby, but like that of a man who lost his friend his brother. The sound of taps at attention while in uniform gives you for the first time in your young life a mortality. That single day, my first military “Parade”, my first day as a man…I realized who and what I was and to this day have not forgotten. I was scared, i was proud, I was sad, I was ecstatic, I was everything you can imagine in life rolled up in 30 minutes.
Be proud of your son, be proud of yourself for raising him to be what he will become. Be there for him. Share his joy of the things he will overcome and will also face, share his grief and understand that your family just got a hell of a lot bigger…he will have brothers he cannot name except for calling them “Stinky or Dirtnap” they are yours now too….That day will be his day soon and it is life altering for those of us who truly believe in America, Life, Liberty, and the pursuits….BE PROUDER THAN YOU HAVE EVER BEEN. When he bows out his chest you should too…for he is now a man of honor that few even dream to be. And you sir have now taken another life lesson of being a man, by watching your son evolve into one, and I am sure it is just as powerful for you as he.
Godspeed to him…a salute to you….Thank you for your thoughtful post. May God bless him, you, yours, and America!
sorry for the long post,..this one kid of got to me.
Dave
USAF Security Police
VET GULFWAR I
1989-1993