A Conference I’m Planning To Attend

Here’s a conference that will revolutionize your thinking about software development and organizational development as well…Waterfall 2006:

After years of being disparaged by some in the software development community, the waterfall process is back with a vengeance. You’ve always known a good waterfall-based process is the right way to develop software projects. Come to the Waterfall 2006 conference and see how a sequential development process can benefit your next project. Learn how slow, deliberate handoffs (with signatures!) between groups can slow the rate of change on any project so that development teams have more time to spend on anticipating user needs through big, upfront design.

Sessions include:

* Pair Managing: Two Managers per Programmer by Jim Highsmith
* Two-Phase Waterfall: Implementation Considered Harmful by Robert C. Martin
* User Interaction: It Was Hard to Build, It Should Be Hard to Use by Jeff Patton
* FIT Testing In When You Can; Otherwise Skip It by Ward Cunningham
* The Joy of Silence: Cube Farm Designs That Cut Out Conversation by Alistair Cockburn
* Making Outsourcing Work: One Team Member per Continent by Babu Bhatt
* User Stories and Other Lies Users Tell Us by Mike Cohn
* Defect-full Code: Ensuring Future Income with Maintenance Contracts by Kay Pentecost
* Pragmatic Project Chores: How to Do Everything Manually, Over and Over Again by Mike Clark
* The Role of Governance in Process Maturity: We’re Lawyers, and We’re Here To Help by Jackie Chiles
* If It Was Good Enough for Shakespeare: A Fresh Look at the Need for Talent in Software Engineering by Rob Styles

I haven’t been able to register yet…

We’re sorry but registration is not yet ready. Our software developers have a really wonderful design. They’re almost done entering it into it a UML tool. They’ve told us not to worry and that finishing it will be “trivial” because “all that’s left is the coding.”

7 thoughts on “A Conference I’m Planning To Attend”

  1. I’m gonna sign up too, or maybe just show up!! This should be a great time for overworked and underpaid programmers like me. What time does the open bar start?

  2. Someone has too much time on their hands. They must work in a waterfall process if they have enough time to develop a fake conference agenda.

    Anyway, I haven’t noticed software quality getting any better without the waterfall. Faster, sometimes, but not better and not any more responsive to user needs.

  3. Interesting…

    For complex projects (even more stupid types), Will businesses wait to get all the requirements made first, without seeing any tangible results out of their investments? Won’t the managers just give in, when they see that what’s coming out of their meetings are just confused people rather than even simple reports.

  4. Nonetheless, my experiences with lightweight processes like Extreme Programming felt more like a cult than engineering.

    I hear ya… at the big software co. in which I labor, we have groups using “Agile” development and groups using traditional waterfalling… The Agile groups don’t meet deadlines any better, or produce more defect-free code, or even have better customer relations than the traditionalists do.

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